But not today – I’m deciding to come out on top and practice what I preach. “No more hiding” – SZA made that song for me. What do I want to do? Everything. And in the words of the late Barbara Sher, used as the title of her famous self-help book I listened to last year, I refuse to choose. “I deserve it all” – Kendrick made that song for me. I’m thinking of curating a playlist of all the music channeled throughout each week’s blog posts. I have to realize when I’m letting myself be distracted and then push beyond that. I have to get past that version of being a slave to procrastination. Not even a slave but a willing participant. 

That brings me to today’s post, reflecting on weeks 1.5 and 2 of my Artist’s Way. I extended week 1 because, like I said, I let myself fall off, but I have been practicing the art of recommitting to something. Now, without further ado, here’s week 2:

Week 2: Recovering Your Sense of Identity 

Daily Morning Pages Completion: 6/7

While I have been completing my pages, they are not getting done as soon as I wake up, nor without distraction. Am I being strict towards myself? Yes, but it’s me. Who else is going to hold the Queen accountable!? Exactly. The Mommy Mogul has a strict morning routine that she does alone because that is when she can connect best with Source and herself. I need to tighten up my schedule, not just for my well-being but for the sustainability of my business empire, home, and family life. I know I cannot pour from an empty cup, so I have to create and maintain replenishing systems!

Artist’s Date: Free Admission Thursdays at MOFA & 3rd Annual HerStory Awards 

Since attempting to catch up in my Artist’s Way course, I have recently completed two different Artist’s Dates. The first was during week 1.5. I went to Houston’s Museum of Fine Arts on Thursdays as that’s the day when there is free admission. It was such a vibe! I just walked around and listened to chakra music to keep me calm because I don’t do crowds like that. Side note, since COVID, I have had terrible social anxiety at times. I literally have to wear my headphones in the grocery store! But overall, 10/10 experience. I can’t wait to return and look forward to bringing the kids along next time. 

My second Artist Date for week 2, I purchased tickets to the 3rd Annual HerStory Awards hosted by The US Space. The US Space is an award-nominated, black woman-owned co-working space curated for black female entrepreneurs. I saw the flyer for the event in my email inbox and recognized a few faces from my previous job, thought to myself, why not and went to the event this past Friday after work I was so nervous! I was hiding in the bathroom at one point, but I worked up the courage to network. Got a few new LinkedIn connections and was able to connect with someone I had met with previously via Teams. I also pitched my LinkedIn With Lex workshop to the founder and CEO of The US Space, and she suggested the space to host my next workshop in person! It was such a magical and serendipitous experience. One that’s made me realize how much God is also working in my favor. My “Life Live Lavish” is in the making!

Weekly Tasks – Week 1.5

• Write my affirmations and blurbs – My favorite affirmation of the week is “I feel empowered.” I even recorded and published my first Daily Affirmation track on my podcast!
• Time Travel: Three old enemies of my creative self-worth
  1. In 5th grade, my Mema didn’t let me submit my writing sample to Lavilla School of the Arts. I wanted to apply for creative writing. I don’t think I’ve ever cried that hard, till this day.
  2. In elementary school, maybe in the 5th grade, I danced on the praise team at church. My auntie Tekira was like the unofficial captain and choreographer for the team. One day, we were copying a dance from another praise group on YouTube. That didn’t sit right with me, so I suggested to change one of the motions. They called me the devil and said nothing was new under the sun. 
  3. In 4th grade, my gifted teacher, Ms. Jones or something I don’t remember, accused me of plagiarizing an original short story about a slave stowaway on a ship. I wrote the entire 4-page story by hand in my best cursive. 

I can, of course, laugh about this stuff now. But it makes me think very hard about how I let these instances slow me down creatively for so long. Especially not going to Lavilla. I was told that creative writing was not a real career and that I should be happy to go to the STEM school to learn about technology. 

• Time Travel: One horror story from my Monster Hall of Fame

Before I moved in with my mom, so about mid-way through 6th grade, my Mema threw away all the crotchet needles that I had inherited from my maternal great-grandmother, Ma Mary. I don’t remember how I felt then, but now I’m so disappointed that I still don’t have those heirlooms. Especially now that my daughter is growing an interest in crotcheting. That could’ve been something for me to share with her, also. That was a piece of my heritage; being able to create with the same tools as my ancestors was special to me. It was a complete disregard for my creative exploration. I understand clutter and tidiness, but give me the resources (i.e., a box to put them in) for success. 

• Write a letter to the editor in my defense:

To whom it may concern, 

No matter what you lost or what was taken from you, no one can take from you what really matters. You can never lose yourself because you’re always in there, whether you remember or not. People hate what they don’t understand and envy who they can be. You learned cursive partially, so no one would read what you write. They want to read it now, mama!

Love, 

Big Lex

• Time Travel: Three old champions of my creative self-worth
  1. Ms. Latta – My 5th grade RLA teacher. She always gave me time to write in a journal and encouraged me to do so during any free time I had.
  2. Frances S. – Since middle school, Frances supported my creative endeavors. She read and commented on one of the earliest fiction chapters I ever published. This is circa 2011.
  3. Val S – We were both gifted since elementary school and often some of the only two black girls in our classes. Her presence always validated me; if I saw Valerie there, I knew I had to perform because, to me, she represented academic excellence. Being in the same classes and rooms as her made me feel worthy. 

• Time Travel: Write out one happy piece of encouragement to a previous champion

Dear Ms. Latta, 

It may seem strange to receive this, seeing as you were my teacher over 10 years ago. I’ve since graduated high school and college, moved to Texas, and became a teacher myself. I’m completing my Artist’s Way right now. It’s a course on one’s spiritual connection to their creativity. When completing an exercise, I had to mention an old champion of my inner artist. You came to mind immediately. Thank you for the role you played in allowing me to explore my writing. Who knew it would bloom into this amazing blog today?

With love, 

Alexis 

• Imaginary Lives: What would I do if I had five different lives?

1. Farmer
2. Research Scientist
3. Ballet Student
4. Politician 

Weekly Tasks – Week 2

• Top Five Activities this week:

1. Scrolling on my phone = 69.6 hours
2. Working a job = 40 hours
3. Laying in the bed = 25 hours
4. Eating = 17.5 hours
5. Smoking = 14 hours

So I tallyed it up, and y’all… I’m spending so much time on BS! I’m not spending 10% of the time doing what I want to do. I need to start tracking how much time I spend creating. 

• 20 Things that I enjoy doing:

• This week’s goals:

1. Planning my week out on my calendar
2. Get dressed up and go out to hear live music

• Safety Map: What do I need to protect right now and from whom?

• This week’s affirmations:
  • I am a millionaire.
  • I am living the life of my dreams.
  • I am attracting the best opportunities for me. 

• Imaginary Lives: 5 more

1. DJ
2. Author
3. Porn star (GROWN!)
4. Pastor/Preacher
5. Actress

• Life Pie: How satifisfied am I in these 6 areas of my life?

• 10 Tiny Changes

1. I would like to lower my screen time.
2. I would like to create more visual content.
3. I would like to explore more of Houston.
4. I would like to revamp my wardrobe.
5. I would like to find a loyal hairstylist.
6. I would like to join a local chamber of commerce.
7. I would like to take a fitness class.
8. I would like to save $20 a paycheck.
9. I would like to go to Japan. 

If you made is this far, you the realest! This week’s post will not be this long since it’ll only be week 3. I’m leaving y’all with this quote from my Godbrother, “Giving is just another benefit of having.” Make sure you are subscribed to the blog as I will be phasing My Artist’s Way into subscriber only content!

Love you to life, and see you on Thursday!

Cousin Lex