I’m back, family.
This one is raw. I’m typing on my iPad outside, no keyboard, sun beaming on me. You know I’m doing my ritual. If you know, you know.
I’ve been sitting out here thinking about what a perfect life actually is. Not as a concept, but as something you live in your body in real time.
The Facebook Memory That Stopped Me
I’m scrolling Facebook and a memory pops up from 2021. My own post: “Create your perfect life.”
Wow. Look at me now, five years later.
The reason I was even on Facebook in the first place is that I just won first place in a local pitch competition for one of my business models in HHH. Now, I’m reading through the comments, congratulations rolling in from everywhere, and I receive them. I do.
But here’s the thing: I’m receiving them from outside myself.
I Won. And Then I Watched It Happen to Someone Else.
I’m looking at the person in the photos getting these congratulations and thinking — that’s me. That picture is me. I really did that. Okay. Cool. Got it.
But I wasn’t in it. I was watching it happen to someone who looked like me.
This connects directly to what I wrote in my last post about being disconnected from self — about vibration and being present in your body for the life you’re actually living. Because I won a pitch competition, came home, did my ritual, took a walk, and fell asleep on the couch for the rest of the day. That was it. One big thing, and I needed 24 hours to recover from it.
At first I judged myself for that. But then I recognized it — the upper limit. I’ve talked about it here before and recently with my close friends on Instagram. The upper limit is what happens when you achieve something bigger than your nervous system is currently equipped to hold. You don’t celebrate. You contract. You sleep. You go quiet. Not because something is wrong, but because your capacity is being stretched.
You Have to Build Capacity for the Life You’re Calling In
Here’s what I want you to really hear: you have to build the capacity for your perfect life.
If you’ve been living a hard life, and some of us have, you are not yet physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and energetically prepared to receive your perfect life all at once. That’s not a failure. That’s just where the real work lives. There are levels to this. That’s why I talk about mastery.
Mastery doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in the again and again and again. Most days I’m trying again at this life thing. Most days it’s a process. And most days the failure doesn’t make it to the blog.
The revelation I find on the other side of the failure does. The ugly part is still a work in progress, but this is Life With Lexis Kai. And I know the good, the bad, and the ugly is what makes it real. Somebody will always resonate with the full picture more than the highlight reel.
The Ugly Part Doesn’t Always Make the Blog — Until Today
I’ve been working on sharing more of the in-between. Not just the processed truth, but the moment right before the clarity hits. Because that’s where most of us actually live — in the middle of the thing, not yet at the lesson.
What we are mastering, always, is the self. And I’m going deeper in my personal study on this. But I’m understanding now that it’s time to share more of what I’m learning — because it’s needed. The collective needs it. Hell, I need it! I read this blog more than I post for sure.
Five years ago I said create your perfect life. Fast forward to this week, I won a pitch competition and fell asleep on the couch. Both of those things are the perfect life. That’s the part they don’t tell you. I love y’all to life!
Until next time,
Cousin Lex
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